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Matt moped on the couch, watching Jay game. The cameramen were gone and it was just the two of them alone together, now. The ridiculousness of the situation with his sister had briefly cheered him up, just from the absurdity of it all, but now that the adrenaline rush was fading he was beginning to feel shitty again.
Even before finding out she was his sister, the whole stripper thing had been mortifying and unwanted, made worse by the fact that he knew he was supposed to want it. He found himself thinking back to the first time he ever kissed a girl, at age 16. He hadn’t liked it. At all. And it had caused some horrible sense of shame to bubble up inside him and soon after pulling away he began to cry, covering his face to hide the furious little tears spilling down his rosy cheeks. Humiliatingly, the girl tried to comfort him. She’d asked him what she’d done wrong, and he’d told her “nothing”. When she then asked him what was wrong, what had happened, why he was crying, he’d snapped at her and curled in on himself. Like he was afraid. Like she might do something to him. She had responded by pulling him into a hug and rubbing his back, whispering little phrases, “it’s ok" “I’m here for you.” It was awful. It had only made him cry harder, knowing that she knew that he was fucked up. That he was a failure. It had felt undeniable in that moment.
Jay must’ve noticed that he was zoned out and miserable, because at some point he paused his game and turned to Matt.
"What’s up? You’re like, sighing a lot,” He said.
"Hmm?" Matt turned to him, caught off guard. "It’s nothing."
"Are you mad about me and your sister?" Jay asked.
Truth be told, Matt couldn’t even begin to think about how he felt about Jay dating his sister. It was too weird to touch.
"No, I- I told you already, I don’t care. I just," Matt felt his face burn with embarrassment, "I’m 22 now and still a virgin. It feels lame. I was really hoping to, I dunno, get a g-friend and deal with that."
It was part of the truth, at least. He briefly imagined what it would’ve been like if he actually had convinced a girl to come over and he’d been unable to do it, or worse, started crying again.
"Oh," Jay said, "Oh- It’s- It’s not that big of a deal, Matt. Lots of people are still virgins at 22."
"Who?" Matt whined. Then, lightly jabbing, he added, "You have a new girl over here practically every week."
"Yeah, well…" Jay trailed off. He took a sip of his beer.
Matt watched the gears turn in his head. He looked like he was tasting something foul, grimacing uncomfortably as he drank. He set down his beer and turned to Matt.
"We could. Fix that."
Very suddenly, Matt felt like he must be having a dream. The kind that usually ended with him waking up to find himself grinding into the mattress, trying to remember what Jay’s lips had tasted like. Or maybe a nightmare, he wasn’t quite sure yet.
"What do you mean?" Matt asked, trying not to sound too excited.
"I mean- Y’know, I could help you out, as a friend. It wouldn’t be that big of a deal, y’know, but you… technically wouldn’t be a virgin anymore."
"You mean like hiring a hooker, cause I really don’t feel-"
"No!”
Matt let out a relieved breath.
“No- I mean like," Jay was blushing, staring down at his hands, fidgeting awkwardly. "I mean I could. Help you. Don’t make me say it."
Matt felt his face go red.
They were both a couple beers in. Not drunk enough to not know full well what they were doing, but it was at least something they could invoke for plausible deniability later. And Matt wanted this. If there was anyone on Earth he’d actually want to lose his virginity to, it was Jay. He wanted this so badly- and this was his chance to have it without it ruining their friendship.
He nodded, "Yeah, that. That sounds like a good plan."
Jay smiled awkwardly.
"You can, uh, think of it as a birthday present," Jay said.
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence where neither of them were quite sure how to proceed. Hesitantly, Jay turned towards Matt and scooted a little closer to him on the couch.
"Uh- shall we?" Jay asked.
"Here?" Matt asked.
"We can’t do it in one of our beds, that would be, like, actually gay," Jay said.
"Yeah. Yeah, you’re right."
Jay breathed deeply like he was steeling himself and then placed a hand on Matt’s thigh. He rubbed up and down slowly.
Matt’s head felt fuzzy.
"What are you- uh- ?"
"Trying to, like, build up, y’know? That’s what you’re supposed to do. When you’re with a girl, that’s what you should do."
Matt didn’t ever want to do this with a girl. He didn’t really want to do this with anyone but Jay. For a brief moment he got some sort of body-memory, another vision of uncomfortable situations past, but he pushed it down. This was Jay. His best friend. He wanted this, and everything was going to be okay.
Jay put a hand on the side of Matt’s face and turned his head. Matt felt somewhere between elated and nauseous. Jay leaned in closer and, hesitantly, pressed their lips together. Matt could feel Jay’s stubble scrape against his 5 o’clock shadow as their lips moved against each other. A bit too enthusiastically Matt turned his body, leaned in closer, and opened his mouth to lick Jay’s lips. Jay responded by pushing him against the couch, crawling on top of his lap, and roughly licking into his mouth, drawing a whine out of him.
Now that they had properly gotten into it, it wasn’t so awkward anymore. The discomfort he felt was becoming background noise drowned out by how overwhelmingly horny he felt, how his body seemed to respond intuitively to Jay’s movements and guidance.
Jay fumbled with the buttons of Matt’s shirt, opening it up and cupping Matt’s pecs.
"Fuck, Matt, you’ve got tits like a girl," Jay said.
Matt blushed down to his chest with embarrassment, choking out an awkward "Oh."
Jay gave them a squeeze and ran his thumbs over the sensitive skin of Matt’s nipples. Matt shuddered, leaning into the touch.
"Does that feel good?" Jay asked.
Matt nodded.
Jay smiled. He leaned down, took one of Matt’s nipples into his mouth, and nipped it gently before sucking it. Matt squirmed.
He reached down to try to palm himself through his jeans and Jay grabbed his hand and stopped him.
"Hey, this my present to you. You shouldn’t have to do anything,” Jay said, smirking a little.
Matt whined.
Jay moved back up to suck on Matt’s neck and, as he did so, placed a hand on Matt’s belly and began slowly rubbing up and down, occasionally teasing at the waistband of his boxers. Matt remembered vaguely that he had mentioned liking that. Well, the idea of it. He hadn’t tried it before. The fact that Jay had remembered it made him feel sort of warm inside, with most of that heat rushing directly to his dick.
"Yeah, you like that?" Jay said against Matt’s neck.
"Fuck, Jay, please-" Matt whined.
Jay laughed.
"Ok, ok," Jay said with a smile.
He undid Matt’s jeans and finally, mercifully slipped a hand down Matt’s pants, palming him over his underwear. Matt let out a relieved sigh and his eyes fluttered shut involuntarily. He rocked his hips into Jay’s touch, chasing the friction. His cock was straining to escape his boxers.
"I have an idea," Jay said. "Take your jeans off."
Jay pulled away and quickly took off his own shirt and jeans, tossing them onto the floor where they were joined by Matt’s button up and jeans. They were both down to their boxers and socks.
Jay straddled Matt’s lap and grabbed onto his waistband, and pulled it down so that it was sort of hooked just under Matt’s balls. He pulled down his own boxers, and fuck, Matt had seen him naked before but he had never seen him like this. His dick, admittedly larger than Matt’s, was fully erect, red and leaking pre-cum. Matt thought, not for the first time, that he’d like to know what it would feel like in his mouth.
Jay paused a moment, staring down at both of their hard, leaking cocks with a sort of anxious, guilty expression. Matt wondered for a second if Jay might back out, but Jay steeled himself, spat into his hand and pressed close enough to Matt that he was able to take both of their cocks in his grasp.
Matt shut his eyes tightly, letting out a whiny little moan as Jay began to stroke them both.
"Hey, open your eyes," Jay said, trying to sound commanding and failing as his voice wavered a little with arousal and nerves.
Matt followed his command though, and opened his eyes to stare down at where they were pressed together, both red and hard and leaking onto Jay’s fist. He whined softly.
"That’s good," Jay said softly.
He bucked his hips, thrusting into Jay’s hand. The praise did something for him. The affirmation that this was good, this was okay.
Jay continued stroking them both. Matt tried to watch for a little while. Jay had beautiful hands, those long pianist’s fingers looked so good wrapped around them both. After a moment, though, his eyes fluttered shut, too overwhelmed with arousal to look any longer. He could feel a heat building in his gut, mixed with a something else. Melancholy? Sentimentality? He felt overwhelmed. He’d wanted this for so long. He let out a sob, and then another. He felt tears begin to prick at the corners of his eyes. Jay stopped moving his hand.
"Are you alright?" He asked.
"Fuck- Yes, keep going," Matt said, voice shaky.
Jay did, slowly jerking them both off as Matt sobbed, tears streaming down his cheeks.
"Jay, I love you, fuck, I love you, don’t stop-" Matt chanted through sobs, voice shaky and hoarse.
All too quickly he felt his arousal begin to build to a crescendo.
"Jay, I’m gonna-"
"It’s okay, Matt," Jay said breathlessly.
Matt shuddered and gave a few more shaky thrusts into Jay’s hand as Jay worked him through his orgasm. Jay came soon after, the slide of his hand making a filthy wet sound as he used Matt’s cum as lube to finish himself off, still holding them both. It made Matt whimper and squirm, overstimulated.
Jay finally pulled his hand away and Matt collapsed back into the couch cushions. Jay collapsed onto him, resting his face in Matt’s neck. They took a moment to catch their breath.
"Uhm-" Matt broke the silence,
"Thanks."
"No problem, man,” Jay said. Then he added, a little anxiously, “Was that good?”
"Yeah," Matt said. "I, uh. I’m glad this was with you and not some random chick. Not in a weird way, I mean, I just- I trust you. You’re my best friend."
Something about admitting that felt dirtier than what they had just done. Worse was the fact that Jay didn’t respond. He was silent, contemplating. At least he didn’t pull away, not immediately. They stayed pressed together for another moment before Jay peeled their gross, sweaty bodies apart and got to his feet.
"We should shower," he said.
"Yeah. Together, or… ?"
"I was thinking we could take turns. I’ll be quick," Jay said.
"Ok."
It felt like a rejection, but Matt tried not to let that show. He watched as Jay hurried off to the bathroom. Their cum was cooling on his exposed belly, his back stuck to the couch with sweat. He didn’t feel like moving until it was his turn to get in.
It wasn’t bad. Even though he had cried, even though Jay wouldn’t shower with him, it wasn’t bad. He stared up at the ceiling and didn’t think about anything.